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Engagement, how to deal with jealous friends
Joaquin Valverde
Joaquin Valverde 2nd May 2017
Weddings engagement, garden weddings, jealous friends, wedding venue, Weddings
5

Engagement, how to deal with jealous friends

Engagement: How to deal with jealous friends

Nothing can quite match that moment when your partner proposes to you! Your heart leaps and soars and your mind thrills to be loved by the person you love and who wants to spend the rest of their life with you.

Sadly, when you announce to the world your happy news, you might find that not everyone is as equally thrilled. Not matter what their reason may be; a gracious bride should be as understanding as possible of her friends’ and family feelings – but only up to a point.

If it is one of your girlfriends, they may be fighting the green monster of jealousy, especially if they are still single and want to be married; or if they are already married but unhappy in their partnership.

If your friends aren’t being rude about it to you, you might want to consider tackling the fine line between talking about your wedding and not rubbing it in your friend’s face. If you friends happen to be a little possessive over their time with you and fear that they are now going to lose you altogether because you are married, you will need to make it clear that you will always need your girlfriends and that you would love their help in planning the wedding.

Make a point however, not to overwhelm your girlfriends with wedding details and wedding talk and be able and willing to talk about other things, listen and genuinely care about what is going on in your friends’ lives too.

You have heard the saying ‘choose your battles’ and in some instances the best response to personal comments about your impending marriage is to simply ignore them. If a friend or a family member does overstep the mark and becomes obnoxious, you will need to handle it immediately. You may want to ask them in a direct and unemotional way why they are being so negative. Chances are they will back off when confronted. Alternatively they may be able to voice their fears; in which case further discussion and understanding on both your parts can allay the situation completely.

In extreme cases, it may be necessary for you to cut ties with the person altogether, especially if they show no signs of being able to contribute towards your happiness or the success of the day. Weddings can be stressful enough without someone always trying to undermine you and sabotage your happiness. Learn to read the signs and establish your boundaries as to what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.

Also consider that in any situation, it is always a 50/50 balance of responsibility for our words and actions and this may be a good opportunity to also take a step back and look at your own behaviour. Are you perhaps being a Bridezilla and taking your attention-seeking behaviours to an unbearable point by always monopolising the conversation with your wedding plans, insisting friends throw lavish showers or pay for expensive wedding events. While your wedding may be the most important thing to happen to you, it can be annoying when you lose sight of your friend’s lives through selfish thinking and self-obsessed behaviour.

Your friend’s are your friends for a good reason and both of you need to do your upmost best not to let your wedding event cut the ties that have served you both up until now.

For more guidance on how to navigate the emotional complexity of planning a wedding click here to download our Ultimate Wedding Planner for FREE.

Who is who on the wedding party
Joaquin Valverde
Joaquin Valverde 2nd May 2017
Weddings bride's maids, wedding arrangements, wedding party, wedding planning, wedding venue
0

Who is who in the wedding party

Who’s who in the Wedding Party?

Here is a quick guide of the titles and roles of those usually included in your wedding party.

Best Man

A male attendant to the groom, the best man is valet, personal aide and advisor all rolled into one. Duties include getting the groom to the ceremony on time; signing the couple’s marriage register; and holding the bride’s wedding ring at the altar. He is also usually renowned for his toasting skills (humour works well here) and dancing savoir faire (he may be required to dance with your mother).

Bridesmaids

A support team of friends and female family members who work well together, the bridesmaids are usually headed up by the maid of honour. Choose friends who you want by your side when completing pre-wedding tasks such as addressing invitations, making table favours, planning the hen’s party and more.

Father of the Bride

Not just a walking wallet and the guy who gets to foot the bill, the father of the bride can also acquire a myriad of to-do’s along the way, such as airport transfers, and co-ordinating maps and directions to the site, along with his toasting and hosting tasks.

Father of the Groom

Traditionally, the father of the groom pays for a handful of major items such as the rehearsal dinner or the bar bill on the day.  He can also step in to carry out support tasks such as escorting the elder generation to their places, addressing problematic service at the venue, along with providing general moral support to the father of the bride.

Flower Girl/Child

Usually proceeding the bride down the aisle while scattering flower petals from a basket (or carrying a pomander if they church doesn’t allow for petals), the flower child can be aged anywhere between three and eight. Once they have completed their role, they usually join their parents for the ceremony. They may also offer confetti to the guests to be thrown outside the church following the ceremony.

Groomsmen

A handful of male family and friends who assist the groom, the groomsmen are integral to the planning and preparing for the big day, especially in the organisation of the stag party (it’s the best man who foots the bill), decorating the honeymoon car, flirting with single ladies at the reception and offering services such as ushering and direction for confused guests.

Junior Bridesmaids/Junior Groomsmen

Ranging between 9 and 16 years of age, they fulfil the same tasks as their adult counterparts (except for involvement in any X-rated stag or hen parties). Their dresses are more demure versions of the bridesmaid dresses, while the young groomsmen get to wear a tux like the adults.

Maid/Matron/Man of Honour

The bride’s right-hand woman throughout the duration of the planning process and the big day, the maid or matron of honour (depending on whether they have been married or not) provides morale support to the bride. She also leads the bridesmaids, heads up the bridal shower and manages numerous details on the day, which include helping the bride to get dressed, toasting the bride and groom, signing the marriage register, adjusting the bride’s train at the altar, holding her bouquet during vows, and overseeing the collection of gifts at the reception.

Mother of the Bride

The nature of the bride’s mother’s role is entirely up to the bride. She may double as wedding planner, guest list moderator, traditional hostess, fashion advisor and general all-round champion for the success of the overall event.

Mother of the Groom

A possible doppelganger of the mother of the bride, the groom’s mom can step in to take on any of the bride’s mom’s responsibilities if she’s up to it. To prevent each from stepping on the other’s toes, the pre-nuptials should plan clearly defined to-do lists for each ahead of time. She is usually escorted down the aisle during the prelude.

Celebrant

This is the cleric or official who performs the marriage ceremony. Examples include a priest, a rabbi, a minister, or a judicial officer.

Ring Bearer

A child aged between 4 and 8 years, who walks down the aisle just before the flower girl carrying a small velvet pillow with two wedding bands tied to it (usually replicas are used in the event of the real rings getting lost).

Shushavim

A Jewish term describing anyone close to the bride and groom who helps them plan and prepare for marriage. In many Jewish weddings, there is no traditional wedding party, but certain members of the shushavim (a mom, a sister, or best friend) might perform similar tasks.

Vratimi

A Greek assimilation of the groomsman, in traditional Eastern Orthodox weddings, the vratimi –  the groom’s male friends – help the koumbaro carry out his traditional role and perform various rituals.

Hattabin

A Muslim term for male family or friends who help prepare the groom for and participate in the wedding. Among Moroccan Muslims, it’s common for the hattabin to propose to the bride on the groom’s behalf.

Huppah Carriers

In Jewish weddings, individuals close to the bride and groom (usually family members or close friends) may hold up the huppah poles during the ceremony. They are often part of the shushavim

For a comprehensive guide on how to plan your wedding like a wedding pro click here to download our Ultimate Wedding Planner.

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What to look for in a wedding venue
Joaquin Valverde
Joaquin Valverde 2nd May 2017
Weddings ideal wedding, planning, wedding planning, wedding venue
0

What to look for in a Class A Wedding Venue

The 5 ‘A’s to look for in a class ‘A’ wedding venue

There is a little more to choosing your ideal wedding venue than just looking at a few photographs in the latest copy of ‘Beautiful Brides’, or simply going on your friend’s word of mouth recommendation. The venue needs to tie up with a few vital aspects of the event – i.e. the date, the area, the type of wedding you want to have and of course what meets your budget ….to name a few …so to help you try to save some time reviewing hundreds of venues that just will not suit you, here are what we call the 5 ‘A’s to look for in a class ‘A’ wedding venue….

Area and accessibility – One of the first things most couples decide on is where they would like to be married. It may be close to home to be more accessible for a large family and many friends, or it may be a remote destination, somewhere romantic …or maybe just difficult to get to, because you don’t really want too many people there anyway! Either way there’s no point in looking at wedding venues in Cape Town if you’ve decided to get married in the bush. Occasionally couples hear of exceptional wedding venues and base their decision on that, but it’s unusual, so step 1 is to decide where the special event will be …and then seek the possibilities in that area.

Availability – Usually the very first things that most couples do actually, is set the date. This often is chosen for a special meaning and so very seldom does the wedding venue’s availability dictate this. Therefore having presumably already set your date, before you even visit the wedding venue you’re interested in, find out if it will be available on that day.

Affordability – So you have now found a few wedding venues in the area in which you wish to be married and they are available for the big day. Before going on site visits or starting to discuss details, unless you are amongst the lucky ones to whom money is no object, find out if the venue you seek is affordable! It’s not just about a basic venue hire fee, but many wedding venues have minimum numbers that they will accept. This factor and many others affect your bottom line, so if you, like most others, have a budget too work on, get this clear before you waste too much time looking or negotiating.

Accomodation – The chances are at least the Bridal couple will want to stay at the venue on the night of the celebrations and possibly many more of your guests. Beautiful, romantic accommodation must be available if required and adequate accommodation at, or very close to, the venue should be checked also for availability, affordability and most importantly if the accommodation is Adequate?

Adaptability – We had to find another ‘A’, but this should probably more accurately be ‘Suitability’. Having ticked the first 4 crucial boxes, the bottom line is whether the venue can handle every aspect of your special event. Are there beautiful surroundings, photo-opportunities, good catering, decor and all related facilities supplied by the venue or available to the venue? Is this venue exactly what you want …or can it, at very least, Adapt itself to your needs? Check these things out carefully.

 Just one final A that has not been mentioned and doesn’t really fall under all this practical advice (but may be the one thing you’ll choose your venue for anyway) is ‘Amazing Ambience’ …Make sure you choose a place that has it in Abundance, as this is after all, your one and only special day and you deserve to host it at a ‘Class ‘A’ wedding venue!

Click here to check out the only wedding venue in Gauteng to rank among the top 20 in TripAdvisor, the world’s largest travel website.

For more info and ideas on how to plan your wedding from  A to Z like a wedding pro click here to download our ultimate wedding planner written by Pamina Bohrer, owner of Valverde who has been in the industry over 14 years.

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Romantic Wedding trends Valverde Blog
Joaquin Valverde
Joaquin Valverde 2nd May 2017
Weddings south africa wedding trends, south africa weddings, wedding planning, wedding trends, wedding venue
0

5 Romantic Wedding Trends

5 very romantic S.A wedding trends

So you are at the point where you are looking for ideas to make your ‘special’ day exactly that, something ‘special’ and different. Well, you may be interested in some pretty unique ideas that are trending in S.A. weddings right now? In this article we focus on particularly ‘romantic’ themes, assuming that you’d like to make your day trendy but in a traditional way, where love is still at the centre and you’re not going ‘over the top’ diving off some bridge in a tandem bungi!

So, here are 5 very romantic S.A wedding trends:

  • Poetry weddings – Shakespeare, Shelley, Byron and Keats may all be quoted on the day, or more in keeping with an S.A. theme, Afrika, Clegg and Bosman …in speeches, on table napkins and even in the ceremony itself, so that your love is magnified though the beautiful words of those who have so eloquently expressed themselves. The theme can extend to dress and decor and can be simplified (or modernised) by simply quoting romantic song lyrics too.
  • French cuisine and ‘Boule’ – Go entirely French, with an outdoor setting, serving canapé’s and French champagne and organise your guests into teams to play ‘Boule’.

Also known as ‘Petanque’ it is a French game where heavy balls are tossed nearest to the jack on any outdoor surface. It is fun and elegant. Complete the scene with a French accordion player and you will feel the romance of France coursing through your veins.

  • Going green weddings – as global warming threatens us and preservation of the planet is at the fore, it is a romantic notion to ‘go green’ for your wedding. It poses great ideas for dress, decor, healthy foods and even an eco friendly venue can be sought like Valverde Eco hotel and wedding venue in Johannesburg. Serve organic wines and have unplugged entertainment.
  • Vintage weddings – These are popular and very romantic. The Bride arrives in a vintage car, Beautiful flowers, timeless decor, beautiful scrolls for wedding invitations, old miniature penny farthing bicycles and bird cages for table centrepieces. The Bride, Groom and bridal party dress ‘Gatsby’ style or even further back to any romantic bygone era. These are always stylish affairs.
  • Breakfast at Tiffany’s – Even more stylish in many ways and certainly different, is this movie themed morning wedding. A must if the romantic couple want to get away to an early honeymoon (Choose a venue close to an airport). Glass tables, Tiffany chairs, long stemmed cigarette holders and the classic, stylish look of the forties, all contribute to this fashionable and very cost effective theme, as it is essentially a lavish breakfast, so many of the heavier costs of an evening function can be eliminated.

All of these 5 romantic S.A. wedding trends can be accommodated and professionally carried out at one of South Africa’s premier wedding resorts – Valverde Eco Hotel and Wedding Venue. Contact us to arrange it all and ensure that your ‘special’ day is truly unique.

If you want to unfold the secrets of how to organize your wedding like the wedding pros, click here to download our ultimate wedding planner. Written by Pamina, the owner of Valverde, after nearly 15 years in the wedding industry and having hosted over 1200 weddings at Valverde.

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Preserving Wedding Memories
Joaquin Valverde
Joaquin Valverde 2nd May 2017
Weddings wedding photography, wedding planning, wedding south africa, wedding venue, Weddings
0

Preserving Wedding Memories

 

4 Ps to help preserve your precious wedding memories

Your very special day comes and goes before you know it. There are so many important aspects to consider to ensure it is a memorable experience, but probably none more so than the preservation of the shared memories of the occasion. This means the photography is so vital, as only through this are these precious moments captured forever. This article deals with a few aspects of the photography that really need to be considered.

 

How do I absolutely ensure my wedding photos will be right?

Here are four photographic ’P’s that you may want to remember when planning the wedding:

Professional Photographer – Make sure the Photographer you hire is not only a professional, but also proficient in wedding photography specifically. Uncle Harry may be the best photographer at parties and picnics, but don’t entrust him with this vital task. Even Professionals need to understand some of the particular aspects of wedding photography which are…..

Plan the shoot – Many people look at their wedding photos and think “What a pity we didn’t get that, or “so and so is not in any of the pictures!”…. Don’t make this mistake. Use a photographer that will plan the shoot with you to include everybody who is present and every expected important moment.

Pair with the right place – ‘Perfect places make perfect pictures’ – This is something that every great wedding Photographer knows. He needs to be familiar with the surroundings and the various photo opportunities the venue offers…. and of course any great wedding venue has perfect photo opportunities – varied settings that offer beautiful backdrops to your most treasured portraits.

Prepare a backup plan – Rainy days, wind and overcast conditions can all be unexpected and unwelcome when you need to take perfect pictures! Have a backup plan by ensuring that your chosen venue has great indoor photo ops too. Even go one better and give yourself a potential second chance. Valverde for example offer a free photo shoot opportunity after the wedding for those who may want to return on a sunny day!

You only get one shot at capturing the occasion on the day it happens though. The spontaneity and magic of the moment can never be revisited, so book a venue that can pair you with a preferred wedding Photographer and use these tips to ensure you reserve your precious wedding memories!

For more advice on how to organize the perfect wedding click here to download our Ultimate Wedding Planner.

 

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