Engagement: How to deal with jealous friends

Nothing can quite match that moment when your partner proposes to you! Your heart leaps and soars and your mind thrills to be loved by the person you love and who wants to spend the rest of their life with you.

Sadly, when you announce to the world your happy news, you might find that not everyone is as equally thrilled. Not matter what their reason may be; a gracious bride should be as understanding as possible of her friends’ and family feelings – but only up to a point.

If it is one of your girlfriends, they may be fighting the green monster of jealousy, especially if they are still single and want to be married; or if they are already married but unhappy in their partnership.

If your friends aren’t being rude about it to you, you might want to consider tackling the fine line between talking about your wedding and not rubbing it in your friend’s face. If you friends happen to be a little possessive over their time with you and fear that they are now going to lose you altogether because you are married, you will need to make it clear that you will always need your girlfriends and that you would love their help in planning the wedding.

Make a point however, not to overwhelm your girlfriends with wedding details and wedding talk and be able and willing to talk about other things, listen and genuinely care about what is going on in your friends’ lives too.

You have heard the saying ‘choose your battles’ and in some instances the best response to personal comments about your impending marriage is to simply ignore them. If a friend or a family member does overstep the mark and becomes obnoxious, you will need to handle it immediately. You may want to ask them in a direct and unemotional way why they are being so negative. Chances are they will back off when confronted. Alternatively they may be able to voice their fears; in which case further discussion and understanding on both your parts can allay the situation completely.

In extreme cases, it may be necessary for you to cut ties with the person altogether, especially if they show no signs of being able to contribute towards your happiness or the success of the day. Weddings can be stressful enough without someone always trying to undermine you and sabotage your happiness. Learn to read the signs and establish your boundaries as to what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.

Also consider that in any situation, it is always a 50/50 balance of responsibility for our words and actions and this may be a good opportunity to also take a step back and look at your own behaviour. Are you perhaps being a Bridezilla and taking your attention-seeking behaviours to an unbearable point by always monopolising the conversation with your wedding plans, insisting friends throw lavish showers or pay for expensive wedding events. While your wedding may be the most important thing to happen to you, it can be annoying when you lose sight of your friend’s lives through selfish thinking and self-obsessed behaviour.

Your friend’s are your friends for a good reason and both of you need to do your upmost best not to let your wedding event cut the ties that have served you both up until now.

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